Monday, 5 May 2014

New Year Pathan Jokes in urdu 2014 full Funny

3 Pathan film "Sholay" daikhny gaye
.
Hero ne kaha "Basanti en kutton ke samny mat nachna
.
Pathan khary hokar boly: "Ticket lia hai, eska baap bhi nachega"

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Pathan: Yaar abhi tumhare ammi ka Kaansi kesa hai?
.
Dost: Kaansi Band hogayi, Magar ab saans ruk ruk ke arahi hai
.
Pathan: Koi baat nahi, Khuda ne chaha tu wo bhi band ho jaye ga

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1 Pathan PCO ke andar gia
Jaib se mobile nekala owr baat karky bahir agia
.
Admi: Khan Sahb Mobile call karni thi tu PCO mai kion gaye?
.
Pathan: Dost ne kaha PCO se call karna, paisy kam lagengy

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Ek Pathan angoor bech raha tha
Magar kah raha tha "aalo le lo aalo"
.
1 Admi ne kaha Khan sahb yai tu angoor hain
.
Pathan: Chup ! Warna Makkiyan aa jayengi

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Masjid mai elaan hogia ke
.
1 bacha mela hai JIN KA HAI, aa ke le jayen
.
1 Pathan jaldi agia owr bola: Mujhe bhi dikhawo "JIN" ka bacha kesa hota hai !

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1 Pathan bachpan se heran-o-pareshan our Tension mai tha
.
.
Yai soch kar ke mairi behn ke 2 bhai hai, owr maira 1 bhai kion?

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1 Pathan Quaid-e-Azam ki Mazar par ja kar dua kar raha tha
"Maira Prize Bond har sorat mai nekalna chahie"
.
Jese hi wo Mazar se bahir agia, kesi ne uske Jaib se Prize Bond nekal lia tha
.
Wo dobar Mazar gia owr bola: "Jinah Sahb ! Pahly pori baat tu samaj lia karain"

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1 Pathan 4 meter lamby pipe se hukka pi raha tha
Dost ne pocha: Etny lambay pipe se kion pi rahay ho?
.
Pathan: Doctor Sahb ne tambako se door renhy ka kaha hai

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…..

1 Pathan 15 saal se Allah Se Awlaad ke lie dua mangta raha
.
1 din Pathan ke pas Farishta aa kar bola:
"Khan sahb tujhe Allah ka wasta hai
Pahly Shadi tu kar le"

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Pathan ka challenge
Pathan: Mai Meenar-e-pakistan ko sar par utha kar Peshawar le ja sakta hon.
.
Hazaron log ekathay ho gaye
.
Pathan: Bas ese utha kar mairy sar par rakho tum !

Latest Pathan Funny Jokes in Urdu - very Funny

1 Pathan Cinema mai Film dekh raha tha.
.
Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.
.
Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga
Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai
.
Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata

1 Pathan Namaz parh raha tha
.
To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.
.
Pathan Namaz thor kar bola:
Es ko bolo ke "hum ne Haj bhi kia hai"

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Pathan: Aaj mai bus ke peche bhagty howe ghar tak aya hon, owr karaye ke 20 rupey bhi bacha leye.
.
2nd Pathan: Tum boht bewakof ho, Rekshe ke peche bhagty tu 80 rupey bach jaty

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Teacher: Es mohawary ko estimal karo "mun mai pani aana"
.
Pathan Student: Jaisy hi mai ne Nal ko mun laga ke Nal chalu kia, tu mairy mun mai pani agia

Ques: Agar dunia mai bejli nahi hoti tu TV kesay daikhty?
.
Pathan: Mom-batti jala ke !

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Pathan: Raat ko 1 admi ne Chaku dekha kar loot lia
.
Dost: Lekin tumhare pas tu hamaisha PISTOL hoti hai na
.
Pathan: Wo mai ne chupa di warna wo bhi le jata

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Pathan 2 Shopkeeper: 1 Kala bulb daina !
Shopkeeper: Kaalay buld ka kia karna hai?
.
Pathan: Dopehr mai sonay ke lie andhair karna hai

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Qatil: Try karo ke umar qaid ho jaye maga saza-e-mot na hojay
.
Pathan Lawyer: Tum fikar mat karo
.
After Case
Qatil: Kya howa?
Pathan: Boht mushkil se umar qaid howi, warna adalat tu reha kar rahi thi

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Pathan 2 shopkeeper: Bhai sahb 1 rupia ka Easy Load kardo
.
Shopkeeper: 1 rupey ke load se kesi ko call karni hai ya msg?
.
Pathan: Karna tu kuch bhi nahi,
Bus aisy hi paisy urany ki adat hai

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Teacher to Pathan: Tum ne home-work kion nahi kia?
.
.
Pathan: Sir hum hostel mai rehta hai

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Pathan and Sardar Best Funny Jokes in urdu

Bhikari Pathan Se: Mujhy Khaany ko Kuch Mil Sakta hai.
Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha lo Gay?
Bhikari: G Han.
Pathan: Acha to Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana
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1Pthan k ghr Gas ka bill 50,000 aya
Wo sui gas ofice gya Or oficer se bola:
Tm log muje ye btao begherto ?
Kya dozkh ka pipe mere ghr se ja rha h:

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4 Pathan train k piche bhag rahe thay,
2 charh gaey
To train men logon ne kaha
WELDONE
Pathan: khaak well done?
Jana to unhen tha hum to chorne aaey thay.

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  Pathan :
Ye FRIJ kitne ka hai ?
Dukandar :
Hm pathano ko koi cheez nhi bechte.
Pathan after 1 month clean shave or 3 piece suit pehn kr gya :
Pathan :
Ye FRIJ kitne ka hy ?
Dukandar:
Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.
After 2 months full Angrez ban k gya :
What’s the cost of that FIRIJ
Dukandar :
Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.
Pathan gusse me :
Tujhe kese pata chal jata hai k me pathan hon ?
Dukandar :
Q k ye FRIJ nhi ” ALMAARi ” hy.

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Pathan Halwayi se: Tum kitny salon se Jalebi bana rahy ho?
.
Halwayi baray fakhar se: 20 saal se
.
Pathan: Bari sharam ki baat hai tum se aaj tak Jalebi seedhi nahi bani

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Bewi: aap boht moty hoty ja rahy hain
Pathan: tum bhi moti hoti ja rahi ho
Bewi: Mai tu Maa banny wali hun
.
Pathan: Mai bhi tu baap banny wala hun

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Admi: Apko garmi lagti hai tu kia kartay ho??
Sardar: AC ke qareeb baith jata hon
Admi: Phir bhi garmi lagy tu kia karty ho?
Sardar: Phir AC ko ON kar laita hon

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1 sardar ghar se nekla tu daikha ke samnay kailay ka chelka para howa tha
Sardar: O mere khudaya.. Aaj phir phisalna parega

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Sardar's Daugher: Abba Kal Hamary ghar se 1 band kam ho jayega
.
Dosre din larki ghar se bhag gayi
.
Sardar: Larki ne kaam tu acha nahi ki…….. Par thi wo Najoomi


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Teacher: Sardar Ki 5 Biwian 20 Bachay
Aur Pathan Ki 1 Biwi 9 Bachay To Batao In Dono Mein Kaun Acha?

 Papu: Score To Sardar Ka Acha Hai Magar Strike Rate Pathan Ka Acha HAi.

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 Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

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  Sardar to Pathan: Batti te Batti kintay honday?

          Pathan: Very simple Do Battian.

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  Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai

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 Pathan to Friend: Yara aaj hum ne ek aesa zabardst sweet Dish banaya tum khush hojaye gi.

Friend: O khan sahab kya banaya hai?
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Naswar Gosht.

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 Sardar buji hue ciagrate p rha tha

   Pathan ne pocha ye Kaise p rhe ho

   Dhuwan to nikal nhi rha.

   Sardar bola: Pagal cigrate CNG pe hy

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  Ek Pathan PCO shop pr gaya.
.
.
.
.
Or

Sardar Operator ko

Zordar

2

Thappar lagaye
.
Guess Q
.
.
.
Bcz
.
Shop pr likha

Tha

K

Number milane c pehly

2 lagana

Mat bholain

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  Sardar : Es saal rozay rakho gy?
Pathan : Nai yar.
Sardar : or travi parote?
Pathan : Mushkil hy.
Sardar : Or Aftari karogy?
Pathan : Aho! Hun innay vi kafir nai

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 1 sardar k Ghar pr Board laga hua tha.
Wife M.sc
&.
Husband F.sc.
Pathan ny pucha:
Aap ki wife itni educated aur aap Q nhi....?
Sardar ny kaha:
Matlab to ek hi hy....
M.sc
Mother of Seven Childrens
F.sc
Father of Seven Childrens

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 Pathan Ny Naswar Ki Dukhan Kholi..

Sb Dekh Kr Boht Hansy..
.
.
Qk
.
Dukan Pr Board Laga Tha K
.
.
.
Ladies K Liye Parday Ka Intezam Hai...

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 Pathan to Molvi: kya wazu kiye bina Namaz ho jati hai?
Molvi: Nahi,
Pathan: Hoti hai yaar!
Molvi: Nahi hoti Bhai.
Pathan: Maine khud parh ker dekhi hai...

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 Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?
Sardar: Frog
Pathan Theek hai, or batao,
Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.
Pathan: Shabash......

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 1 pathan naha raha tha, k aik sardar darwazey pe aaya,
Pathan aise he bahar aagaya,
Sardar bola: Kuch to pehan lo yaar.
Pathan bhag ker andar gaya aur CHAPPAL Pehan ker aagaya...

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 1 Truck dosry Truck ko rassi se baandh kar le jar aha tha
.
Yai daikh kar sardar hans kar lot pot hogia owr kahny laga:
1 rassi ko le jany ke lie 2, 2 truck

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 Sardar: Itnay saray log football ko laat kion mar rahay hain?
.
 Pathan : Goal karny ke lie
.
Sardar: Gol hi tu hai, owr kitna gol karengay

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  Pathan: Esa kia karain ke saanp bhi mar jaye owr lati bhi na tootay
.
.
Sardar: Jootay se mar do

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  Pehla Zaheen Sardar
.
Teacher: Jo sakhs kuch nahi sun sakta usay English mai kia kahaingy??
Sardar: Kuch bhi Kaho, usay konsa sunayi daita hai

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  Sardar to Pathan : Jab mai sota hon mairy khwab mai Bandar football khailty hain
.
 Pathan : Eat this medicine before you sleep
.
Sardar: Kal se Khawonga, aaj unka final hai

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  Sardar 1: yaar aaj mujhe ajeeb msg aya owr maira mobile bhi band ho gia
 Pathan : Esa konsa msg tha?
 Sardar : "Battery Low"
 Pathan : O send kar, doston ko darayengy

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 Sardar ke 10 bachon mai 1 alag dikhta tha
.
Jab Us ki Bewi marny wali thi tu sardar ne Pocha: Ab tu bata do Yai kis ka hai?
.
Bewi: Sirf Yahi aap ka hai