3 Pathan film "Sholay" daikhny gaye
.
Hero ne kaha "Basanti en kutton ke samny mat nachna
.
Pathan khary hokar boly: "Ticket lia hai, eska baap bhi nachega"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Yaar abhi tumhare ammi ka Kaansi kesa hai?
.
Dost: Kaansi Band hogayi, Magar ab saans ruk ruk ke arahi hai
.
Pathan: Koi baat nahi, Khuda ne chaha tu wo bhi band ho jaye ga
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Pathan PCO ke andar gia
Jaib se mobile nekala owr baat karky bahir agia
.
Admi: Khan Sahb Mobile call karni thi tu PCO mai kion gaye?
.
Pathan: Dost ne kaha PCO se call karna, paisy kam lagengy
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek Pathan angoor bech raha tha
Magar kah raha tha "aalo le lo aalo"
.
1 Admi ne kaha Khan sahb yai tu angoor hain
.
Pathan: Chup ! Warna Makkiyan aa jayengi
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Masjid mai elaan hogia ke
.
1 bacha mela hai JIN KA HAI, aa ke le jayen
.
1 Pathan jaldi agia owr bola: Mujhe bhi dikhawo "JIN" ka bacha kesa hota hai !
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Pathan bachpan se heran-o-pareshan our Tension mai tha
.
.
Yai soch kar ke mairi behn ke 2 bhai hai, owr maira 1 bhai kion?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Pathan Quaid-e-Azam ki Mazar par ja kar dua kar raha tha
"Maira Prize Bond har sorat mai nekalna chahie"
.
Jese hi wo Mazar se bahir agia, kesi ne uske Jaib se Prize Bond nekal lia tha
.
Wo dobar Mazar gia owr bola: "Jinah Sahb ! Pahly pori baat tu samaj lia karain"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Pathan 4 meter lamby pipe se hukka pi raha tha
Dost ne pocha: Etny lambay pipe se kion pi rahay ho?
.
Pathan: Doctor Sahb ne tambako se door renhy ka kaha hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
…..
1 Pathan 15 saal se Allah Se Awlaad ke lie dua mangta raha
.
1 din Pathan ke pas Farishta aa kar bola:
"Khan sahb tujhe Allah ka wasta hai
Pahly Shadi tu kar le"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan ka challenge
Pathan: Mai Meenar-e-pakistan ko sar par utha kar Peshawar le ja sakta hon.
.
Hazaron log ekathay ho gaye
.
Pathan: Bas ese utha kar mairy sar par rakho tum !
Monday, 5 May 2014
Latest Pathan Funny Jokes in Urdu - very Funny
1 Pathan Cinema mai Film dekh raha tha.
.
Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.
.
Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga
Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai
.
Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata
1 Pathan Namaz parh raha tha
.
To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.
.
Pathan Namaz thor kar bola:
Es ko bolo ke "hum ne Haj bhi kia hai"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Aaj mai bus ke peche bhagty howe ghar tak aya hon, owr karaye ke 20 rupey bhi bacha leye.
.
2nd Pathan: Tum boht bewakof ho, Rekshe ke peche bhagty tu 80 rupey bach jaty
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Es mohawary ko estimal karo "mun mai pani aana"
.
Pathan Student: Jaisy hi mai ne Nal ko mun laga ke Nal chalu kia, tu mairy mun mai pani agia
Ques: Agar dunia mai bejli nahi hoti tu TV kesay daikhty?
.
Pathan: Mom-batti jala ke !
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Raat ko 1 admi ne Chaku dekha kar loot lia
.
Dost: Lekin tumhare pas tu hamaisha PISTOL hoti hai na
.
Pathan: Wo mai ne chupa di warna wo bhi le jata
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan 2 Shopkeeper: 1 Kala bulb daina !
Shopkeeper: Kaalay buld ka kia karna hai?
.
Pathan: Dopehr mai sonay ke lie andhair karna hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qatil: Try karo ke umar qaid ho jaye maga saza-e-mot na hojay
.
Pathan Lawyer: Tum fikar mat karo
.
After Case
Qatil: Kya howa?
Pathan: Boht mushkil se umar qaid howi, warna adalat tu reha kar rahi thi
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan 2 shopkeeper: Bhai sahb 1 rupia ka Easy Load kardo
.
Shopkeeper: 1 rupey ke load se kesi ko call karni hai ya msg?
.
Pathan: Karna tu kuch bhi nahi,
Bus aisy hi paisy urany ki adat hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher to Pathan: Tum ne home-work kion nahi kia?
.
.
Pathan: Sir hum hostel mai rehta hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.
.
Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga
Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai
.
Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata
1 Pathan Namaz parh raha tha
.
To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.
.
Pathan Namaz thor kar bola:
Es ko bolo ke "hum ne Haj bhi kia hai"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Aaj mai bus ke peche bhagty howe ghar tak aya hon, owr karaye ke 20 rupey bhi bacha leye.
.
2nd Pathan: Tum boht bewakof ho, Rekshe ke peche bhagty tu 80 rupey bach jaty
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Es mohawary ko estimal karo "mun mai pani aana"
.
Pathan Student: Jaisy hi mai ne Nal ko mun laga ke Nal chalu kia, tu mairy mun mai pani agia
Ques: Agar dunia mai bejli nahi hoti tu TV kesay daikhty?
.
Pathan: Mom-batti jala ke !
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Raat ko 1 admi ne Chaku dekha kar loot lia
.
Dost: Lekin tumhare pas tu hamaisha PISTOL hoti hai na
.
Pathan: Wo mai ne chupa di warna wo bhi le jata
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan 2 Shopkeeper: 1 Kala bulb daina !
Shopkeeper: Kaalay buld ka kia karna hai?
.
Pathan: Dopehr mai sonay ke lie andhair karna hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Qatil: Try karo ke umar qaid ho jaye maga saza-e-mot na hojay
.
Pathan Lawyer: Tum fikar mat karo
.
After Case
Qatil: Kya howa?
Pathan: Boht mushkil se umar qaid howi, warna adalat tu reha kar rahi thi
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan 2 shopkeeper: Bhai sahb 1 rupia ka Easy Load kardo
.
Shopkeeper: 1 rupey ke load se kesi ko call karni hai ya msg?
.
Pathan: Karna tu kuch bhi nahi,
Bus aisy hi paisy urany ki adat hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher to Pathan: Tum ne home-work kion nahi kia?
.
.
Pathan: Sir hum hostel mai rehta hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan and Sardar Best Funny Jokes in urdu
Bhikari Pathan Se: Mujhy Khaany ko Kuch Mil Sakta hai.
Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha lo Gay?
Bhikari: G Han.
Pathan: Acha to Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1Pthan k ghr Gas ka bill 50,000 aya
Wo sui gas ofice gya Or oficer se bola:
Tm log muje ye btao begherto ?
Kya dozkh ka pipe mere ghr se ja rha h:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 Pathan train k piche bhag rahe thay,
2 charh gaey
To train men logon ne kaha
WELDONE
Pathan: khaak well done?
Jana to unhen tha hum to chorne aaey thay.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan :
Ye FRIJ kitne ka hai ?
Dukandar :
Hm pathano ko koi cheez nhi bechte.
Pathan after 1 month clean shave or 3 piece suit pehn kr gya :
Pathan :
Ye FRIJ kitne ka hy ?
Dukandar:
Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.
After 2 months full Angrez ban k gya :
What’s the cost of that FIRIJ
Dukandar :
Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.
Pathan gusse me :
Tujhe kese pata chal jata hai k me pathan hon ?
Dukandar :
Q k ye FRIJ nhi ” ALMAARi ” hy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan Halwayi se: Tum kitny salon se Jalebi bana rahy ho?
.
Halwayi baray fakhar se: 20 saal se
.
Pathan: Bari sharam ki baat hai tum se aaj tak Jalebi seedhi nahi bani
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bewi: aap boht moty hoty ja rahy hain
Pathan: tum bhi moti hoti ja rahi ho
Bewi: Mai tu Maa banny wali hun
.
Pathan: Mai bhi tu baap banny wala hun
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Admi: Apko garmi lagti hai tu kia kartay ho??
Sardar: AC ke qareeb baith jata hon
Admi: Phir bhi garmi lagy tu kia karty ho?
Sardar: Phir AC ko ON kar laita hon
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 sardar ghar se nekla tu daikha ke samnay kailay ka chelka para howa tha
Sardar: O mere khudaya.. Aaj phir phisalna parega
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar's Daugher: Abba Kal Hamary ghar se 1 band kam ho jayega
.
Dosre din larki ghar se bhag gayi
.
Sardar: Larki ne kaam tu acha nahi ki…….. Par thi wo Najoomi
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Sardar Ki 5 Biwian 20 Bachay
Aur Pathan Ki 1 Biwi 9 Bachay To Batao In Dono Mein Kaun Acha?
Papu: Score To Sardar Ka Acha Hai Magar Strike Rate Pathan Ka Acha HAi.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.
Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.
Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar to Pathan: Batti te Batti kintay honday?
Pathan: Very simple Do Battian.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.
Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?
Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan to Friend: Yara aaj hum ne ek aesa zabardst sweet Dish banaya tum khush hojaye gi.
Friend: O khan sahab kya banaya hai?
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Naswar Gosht.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar buji hue ciagrate p rha tha
Pathan ne pocha ye Kaise p rhe ho
Dhuwan to nikal nhi rha.
Sardar bola: Pagal cigrate CNG pe hy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek Pathan PCO shop pr gaya.
.
.
.
.
Or
Sardar Operator ko
Zordar
2
Thappar lagaye
.
Guess Q
.
.
.
Bcz
.
Shop pr likha
Tha
K
Number milane c pehly
2 lagana
Mat bholain
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar : Es saal rozay rakho gy?
Pathan : Nai yar.
Sardar : or travi parote?
Pathan : Mushkil hy.
Sardar : Or Aftari karogy?
Pathan : Aho! Hun innay vi kafir nai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 sardar k Ghar pr Board laga hua tha.
Wife M.sc
&.
Husband F.sc.
Pathan ny pucha:
Aap ki wife itni educated aur aap Q nhi....?
Sardar ny kaha:
Matlab to ek hi hy....
M.sc
Mother of Seven Childrens
F.sc
Father of Seven Childrens
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan Ny Naswar Ki Dukhan Kholi..
Sb Dekh Kr Boht Hansy..
.
.
Qk
.
Dukan Pr Board Laga Tha K
.
.
.
Ladies K Liye Parday Ka Intezam Hai...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan to Molvi: kya wazu kiye bina Namaz ho jati hai?
Molvi: Nahi,
Pathan: Hoti hai yaar!
Molvi: Nahi hoti Bhai.
Pathan: Maine khud parh ker dekhi hai...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?
Sardar: Frog
Pathan Theek hai, or batao,
Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.
Pathan: Shabash......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 pathan naha raha tha, k aik sardar darwazey pe aaya,
Pathan aise he bahar aagaya,
Sardar bola: Kuch to pehan lo yaar.
Pathan bhag ker andar gaya aur CHAPPAL Pehan ker aagaya...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Truck dosry Truck ko rassi se baandh kar le jar aha tha
.
Yai daikh kar sardar hans kar lot pot hogia owr kahny laga:
1 rassi ko le jany ke lie 2, 2 truck
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Itnay saray log football ko laat kion mar rahay hain?
.
Pathan : Goal karny ke lie
.
Sardar: Gol hi tu hai, owr kitna gol karengay
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Esa kia karain ke saanp bhi mar jaye owr lati bhi na tootay
.
.
Sardar: Jootay se mar do
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pehla Zaheen Sardar
.
Teacher: Jo sakhs kuch nahi sun sakta usay English mai kia kahaingy??
Sardar: Kuch bhi Kaho, usay konsa sunayi daita hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar to Pathan : Jab mai sota hon mairy khwab mai Bandar football khailty hain
.
Pathan : Eat this medicine before you sleep
.
Sardar: Kal se Khawonga, aaj unka final hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar 1: yaar aaj mujhe ajeeb msg aya owr maira mobile bhi band ho gia
Pathan : Esa konsa msg tha?
Sardar : "Battery Low"
Pathan : O send kar, doston ko darayengy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar ke 10 bachon mai 1 alag dikhta tha
.
Jab Us ki Bewi marny wali thi tu sardar ne Pocha: Ab tu bata do Yai kis ka hai?
.
Bewi: Sirf Yahi aap ka hai
Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha lo Gay?
Bhikari: G Han.
Pathan: Acha to Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1Pthan k ghr Gas ka bill 50,000 aya
Wo sui gas ofice gya Or oficer se bola:
Tm log muje ye btao begherto ?
Kya dozkh ka pipe mere ghr se ja rha h:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 Pathan train k piche bhag rahe thay,
2 charh gaey
To train men logon ne kaha
WELDONE
Pathan: khaak well done?
Jana to unhen tha hum to chorne aaey thay.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan :
Ye FRIJ kitne ka hai ?
Dukandar :
Hm pathano ko koi cheez nhi bechte.
Pathan after 1 month clean shave or 3 piece suit pehn kr gya :
Pathan :
Ye FRIJ kitne ka hy ?
Dukandar:
Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.
After 2 months full Angrez ban k gya :
What’s the cost of that FIRIJ
Dukandar :
Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.
Pathan gusse me :
Tujhe kese pata chal jata hai k me pathan hon ?
Dukandar :
Q k ye FRIJ nhi ” ALMAARi ” hy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan Halwayi se: Tum kitny salon se Jalebi bana rahy ho?
.
Halwayi baray fakhar se: 20 saal se
.
Pathan: Bari sharam ki baat hai tum se aaj tak Jalebi seedhi nahi bani
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bewi: aap boht moty hoty ja rahy hain
Pathan: tum bhi moti hoti ja rahi ho
Bewi: Mai tu Maa banny wali hun
.
Pathan: Mai bhi tu baap banny wala hun
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Admi: Apko garmi lagti hai tu kia kartay ho??
Sardar: AC ke qareeb baith jata hon
Admi: Phir bhi garmi lagy tu kia karty ho?
Sardar: Phir AC ko ON kar laita hon
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 sardar ghar se nekla tu daikha ke samnay kailay ka chelka para howa tha
Sardar: O mere khudaya.. Aaj phir phisalna parega
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar's Daugher: Abba Kal Hamary ghar se 1 band kam ho jayega
.
Dosre din larki ghar se bhag gayi
.
Sardar: Larki ne kaam tu acha nahi ki…….. Par thi wo Najoomi
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Sardar Ki 5 Biwian 20 Bachay
Aur Pathan Ki 1 Biwi 9 Bachay To Batao In Dono Mein Kaun Acha?
Papu: Score To Sardar Ka Acha Hai Magar Strike Rate Pathan Ka Acha HAi.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.
Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.
Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar to Pathan: Batti te Batti kintay honday?
Pathan: Very simple Do Battian.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.
Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?
Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan to Friend: Yara aaj hum ne ek aesa zabardst sweet Dish banaya tum khush hojaye gi.
Friend: O khan sahab kya banaya hai?
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Naswar Gosht.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar buji hue ciagrate p rha tha
Pathan ne pocha ye Kaise p rhe ho
Dhuwan to nikal nhi rha.
Sardar bola: Pagal cigrate CNG pe hy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek Pathan PCO shop pr gaya.
.
.
.
.
Or
Sardar Operator ko
Zordar
2
Thappar lagaye
.
Guess Q
.
.
.
Bcz
.
Shop pr likha
Tha
K
Number milane c pehly
2 lagana
Mat bholain
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar : Es saal rozay rakho gy?
Pathan : Nai yar.
Sardar : or travi parote?
Pathan : Mushkil hy.
Sardar : Or Aftari karogy?
Pathan : Aho! Hun innay vi kafir nai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 sardar k Ghar pr Board laga hua tha.
Wife M.sc
&.
Husband F.sc.
Pathan ny pucha:
Aap ki wife itni educated aur aap Q nhi....?
Sardar ny kaha:
Matlab to ek hi hy....
M.sc
Mother of Seven Childrens
F.sc
Father of Seven Childrens
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan Ny Naswar Ki Dukhan Kholi..
Sb Dekh Kr Boht Hansy..
.
.
Qk
.
Dukan Pr Board Laga Tha K
.
.
.
Ladies K Liye Parday Ka Intezam Hai...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan to Molvi: kya wazu kiye bina Namaz ho jati hai?
Molvi: Nahi,
Pathan: Hoti hai yaar!
Molvi: Nahi hoti Bhai.
Pathan: Maine khud parh ker dekhi hai...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?
Sardar: Frog
Pathan Theek hai, or batao,
Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.
Pathan: Shabash......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 pathan naha raha tha, k aik sardar darwazey pe aaya,
Pathan aise he bahar aagaya,
Sardar bola: Kuch to pehan lo yaar.
Pathan bhag ker andar gaya aur CHAPPAL Pehan ker aagaya...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Truck dosry Truck ko rassi se baandh kar le jar aha tha
.
Yai daikh kar sardar hans kar lot pot hogia owr kahny laga:
1 rassi ko le jany ke lie 2, 2 truck
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Itnay saray log football ko laat kion mar rahay hain?
.
Pathan : Goal karny ke lie
.
Sardar: Gol hi tu hai, owr kitna gol karengay
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathan: Esa kia karain ke saanp bhi mar jaye owr lati bhi na tootay
.
.
Sardar: Jootay se mar do
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pehla Zaheen Sardar
.
Teacher: Jo sakhs kuch nahi sun sakta usay English mai kia kahaingy??
Sardar: Kuch bhi Kaho, usay konsa sunayi daita hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar to Pathan : Jab mai sota hon mairy khwab mai Bandar football khailty hain
.
Pathan : Eat this medicine before you sleep
.
Sardar: Kal se Khawonga, aaj unka final hai
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar 1: yaar aaj mujhe ajeeb msg aya owr maira mobile bhi band ho gia
Pathan : Esa konsa msg tha?
Sardar : "Battery Low"
Pathan : O send kar, doston ko darayengy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar ke 10 bachon mai 1 alag dikhta tha
.
Jab Us ki Bewi marny wali thi tu sardar ne Pocha: Ab tu bata do Yai kis ka hai?
.
Bewi: Sirf Yahi aap ka hai
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